Mediocre Time Wasters

miss_congeniality_2_-_armed_and_fabulous_2005_sandra_bullock_regina_king_william_shatner
_________________________________________________________

This refers to an old Onion article where a girl woke up from a one night stand only to browse the guy’s DVD collection and judge him based on the utterly banal and forgettable choices he made. These kinds of movies are quite frequently romantic comedies, or thrown together thrillers, but basically, no matter what they are, watched once by the owner, never to be thought about again. Everyone has a few of these in their collection, and a small percentage is nothing to be ashamed of, but for those whose entire inventory is comprised of these non-entities, you have no taste. And I’m not saying you have bad taste, I’m saying you literally have no taste in film, or taste so diffuse that you never even have an opinion.

Hover over to read context. If your browser is not cooperating, leave your mouse where it is and scroll down to the bottom of the page to see the text.

Adventureland

The Answer Man

Baby Mama

The Butterfly Effect

Cop Out

Dead Bang

Death at a Funeral (2010)

The Eagle

Edge of Darkness

Extract

Funny People

Get Smart

Hamlet 2

Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay

The Hangover

How Do You Know

I Love You, Man

Identity

The Invention of Lying

Jennifer’s Body

Leatherheads

Limitless

The Losers

Macgruber

The Men Who Stare At Goats

Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist

Observe and Report

The Other Guys

Paper Heart

Physical Evidence

Red (2010)

Red Hill

Scream 4

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Sex and the City: The Movie

Step Brothers

Submarine

Take Me Home Tonight

Unknown

Vicky Christina Barcelona

What Happens in Vegas

Whatever Works

When Will I Be Loved

Whiteout

Year One

Youth in Revolt

Zach and Miri Make a Porno

Now on DVD and Blu-Ray

Roadracers

By Adam Lippe

Whenever there’s a genre parody or ode to a specific era of films, such as Black Dynamite’s mocking of Blaxploitation films or Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof, the second half of Grindhouse, the danger is that the film might fall into the trap of either being condescending without any particular insight, or so faithful that it becomes the very flawed thing it is emulating.

Black Dynamite has nothing new to say about Blaxploitation films, it just does a decent job of copying what an inept [...]


Veegie Awards

Winner: BEST ONLINE FILM CRITIC, 2010 National Veegie Awards (Vegan Themed Entertainment)

Nominee: BEST NEW PRODUCT, 2011 National Veegie Awards: The Vegan Condom

Archive

Featured Quote (written by me)

On Cold Fish:

Though the 16 year old me described the 1994 weepie Angie, starring Geena Davis as a Brooklyn mother raising her new baby alone, as “maudlin and melodramatic,” Roger Ebert, during his TV review, referring to the multitude of soap-operaish problems piling up on the titular character, suggested that it was only in Hollywood where Angie would get a happy ending. “If they made this movie in France, Angie would have shot herself.”

Well Cold Fish was made in Japan, where Angie would have shot herself and that would have been the happy ending.