Boat Trip

By Adam Lippe

boattripThe magical story of two heterosexual men who find themselves mistakenly aboard a homosexual cruise, it is certainly the best movie ever made which features Cuba Gooding Jr. spunking on another man’s face and Lin Shaye’s vagina literally steaming with pleasure, as well as her deep throating the handle of a bat. Obviously the supporting cast, Will Ferrell, Richard Roundtree, Artie Lange, and Thomas Lennon (of The State, Viva Variety, and Reno 911!), saw the script and thought, Superb!, as if any other reaction could possibly be conceived. Witness the scene where Cuba finds new ways to explore the traditions of the African American male with his opening singing and dancing number to I Feel Good. Revel in Horatio Sanz’s multi-layered performance which reveals a stunning portrayal of a man lost in his sexuality. Can you be defined by your poker player skills amongst cross dressing members of the Herman’s Head cast, or should you engage in love making with the Swedish Tanning team (who seem to reside in Switzerland, but this sort of detail should be considered nitpicking, especially as the Hawaiian team also speaks in Swedish)? Watch in amazement as Roselyn Sanchez convincingly portrays a woman who is unable to tell if a man is straight, despite all of the obvious signs. Her obliviousness is striking. And I have to wonder if she studied method acting because of her commitment in the extraordinarily powerful and detailed banana fellatio scene.

And if all else fails Roger Moore is on hand to refer to himself as an old queen and provide the film’s biggest laugh by declaring that he is a “bad ass motherfucker.”

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Now on DVD and Blu-Ray

Roadracers

By Adam Lippe

Whenever there’s a genre parody or ode to a specific era of films, such as Black Dynamite’s mocking of Blaxploitation films or Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof, the second half of Grindhouse, the danger is that the film might fall into the trap of either being condescending without any particular insight, or so faithful that it becomes the very flawed thing it is emulating.

Black Dynamite has nothing new to say about Blaxploitation films, it just does a decent job of copying what an inept [...]


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Featured Quote (written by me)

On Cold Fish:

Though the 16 year old me described the 1994 weepie Angie, starring Geena Davis as a Brooklyn mother raising her new baby alone, as “maudlin and melodramatic,” Roger Ebert, during his TV review, referring to the multitude of soap-operaish problems piling up on the titular character, suggested that it was only in Hollywood where Angie would get a happy ending. “If they made this movie in France, Angie would have shot herself.”

Well Cold Fish was made in Japan, where Angie would have shot herself and that would have been the happy ending.