The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)
Someone should have combined this and Judge Dredd to combine two huge failures into one, and so Stallone could have battled the beasts in this film in who could say “I am the law!” less convincingly. I’m not sure what we’re supposed to care about when the two most interesting actors in the movie, Brando and Kilmer, get doubled in screen time by the dull Thewlis, who can be great in stuff like Naked, but has nothing to do but react in this mess. Brando has only about 4 scenes and is killed an hour in, and the final twenty minutes has the beasts scowling and firing guns, at each other. Then, a lot of stuff blows up. Why would they bother with all the makeup if they were just going to shoot machine guns and cause explosions? Though it makes the final montage criticizing us all for the violence we cause, from soccer riots to police beatings, that much funnier.
The Island of Dr. Moreau on DVD at FYE.com
