Hide and Seek

By Adam Lippe

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Throughout the commentary track on Alone in the Dark, director Uwe Boll complains that there won’t be an Alone in the Dark 2 because no one saw the first one, and they saw Boogeyman and Hide and Seek instead. And apparently, according to him, because of their moderate successes, there will be sequels to these films. Imagining a sequel to Hide and Seek is nearly impossible. To think that someone got paid to write the first movie’s script is very sad. It has no characters (some of the important ones don’t even have names until the 90 minute mark, resulting in confusion as to who is being talked to), no plot, no diversions or subplots, no logic, and a conclusion that makes no literal or figurative sense and has no motivation, and yet is completely predictable. And I’m not just being picky about the no characters thing. They don’t even have traits. How would the actors even describe what they were playing?

De Niro pulls it off again. Two years in a row he stars with a menacing child in an incompetent and dull thriller (Godsend), both with 4 alternate endings that prove the filmmakers could not make any choices of their own and simply resigned themselves to make something totally anonymous, resulting in the worst movies of their year.

2 comments on “Hide and Seek”


  1. Rusty Shackleford says:

    Shut up dick breath, the movie was great, you’re a jealous freak. Hey where’s your movie? Hmmm thought so ! Get out of your mom’s basement you tool


  2. Adam Lippe says:

    Here’s my movie, edited just for you! http://regrettablesincerity.com/?p=8359

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Now on DVD and Blu-Ray

Roadracers

By Adam Lippe

Whenever there’s a genre parody or ode to a specific era of films, such as Black Dynamite’s mocking of Blaxploitation films or Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof, the second half of Grindhouse, the danger is that the film might fall into the trap of either being condescending without any particular insight, or so faithful that it becomes the very flawed thing it is emulating.

Black Dynamite has nothing new to say about Blaxploitation films, it just does a decent job of copying what an inept [...]


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Featured Quote (written by me)

On Cold Fish:

Though the 16 year old me described the 1994 weepie Angie, starring Geena Davis as a Brooklyn mother raising her new baby alone, as “maudlin and melodramatic,” Roger Ebert, during his TV review, referring to the multitude of soap-operaish problems piling up on the titular character, suggested that it was only in Hollywood where Angie would get a happy ending. “If they made this movie in France, Angie would have shot herself.”

Well Cold Fish was made in Japan, where Angie would have shot herself and that would have been the happy ending.