Hide and Seek
Throughout the commentary track on Alone in the Dark, director Uwe Boll complains that there won’t be an Alone in the Dark 2 because no one saw the first one, and they saw Boogeyman and Hide and Seek instead. And apparently, according to him, because of their moderate successes, there will be sequels to these films. Imagining a sequel to Hide and Seek is nearly impossible. To think that someone got paid to write the first movie’s script is very sad. It has no characters (some of the important ones don’t even have names until the 90 minute mark, resulting in confusion as to who is being talked to), no plot, no diversions or subplots, no logic, and a conclusion that makes no literal or figurative sense and has no motivation, and yet is completely predictable. And I’m not just being picky about the no characters thing. They don’t even have traits. How would the actors even describe what they were playing?
De Niro pulls it off again. Two years in a row he stars with a menacing child in an incompetent and dull thriller (Godsend), both with 4 alternate endings that prove the filmmakers could not make any choices of their own and simply resigned themselves to make something totally anonymous, resulting in the worst movies of their year.