Tag Archive
The 5 minute feature film, volume 3: Virus + a bonus review of Virus
Here is my 5 minute interpretation of John Bruno’s Virus, a sci-fi thriller from 1999 starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Sutherland, and William Baldwin. As a movie, about a mysterious electrical life-force that animates killer robots on an abandoned Russian research vessel in the South Pacific, Virus is somehow simultaneously frantic and low energy. It’s […]
The Adjustment Bureau/Unknown/The Eagle
In 2004, there was a surprisingly competent thriller released to theaters. Unfortunately it had a title that was not all that memorable, The Forgotten, and it was amidst a glut of “my child is missing” films, one of which also starred Julianne Moore, Freedomland. It had a premise that sounded familiar, Moore remembers her child, […]
The Mechanic (2011)
Oh straight-faced stupidity, how I adore thee! While you’ve recently taken a hit with the advent of ironic violence and such confused projects as The Green Hornet which can’t decide if it means business or is only kidding (how about a 9 minute fight between our heroes that’s preoccupied primarily with property destruction), I sense […]
Whiteout
Do you ever wonder what goes on during meetings about theatrical release dates for movies? Well, I know you don’t, but just whose idea was it to open the violent 3 hour exploitation pastiche/parody Grindhouse on Easter weekend? “We have an opening in April; do we have anything to fill it?” “Which weekend?” “Easter.” “Hmmm. […]
1900
Here’s the idea behind “A Canadian, an American, a Lawyer, and an Elitist”: Rhett’s favorite movie is Meatballs 4, Shawn has an unhealthy fixation on Resident Evil, Richard scoffs at anything that isn’t pretentious and hoity toity, and Adam is a prick who hates everything. We all watch far too many movies, and spend our […]
The Italian Job (2003)
When the movie was being released, I heard the story that Ed Norton was forced to do the movie, because he was under contract with Paramount and kept turning down script after script, and this was the last option he was given. And yet, Marky Mark claimed this was the best movie he’d ever been […]