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The Amityville Horror (2005)

By Adam Lippe

While the movie made almost no impression on me whatsoever, I kept getting the feeling that the most annoyed potential viewer will not be anyone who worships the original (which I have not seen), but rather, Paul W. Anderson, director of Event Horizon, which used to hold the record for the most loud noise scares […]

Anger Management

By Adam Lippe

Hopeless in nearly every way. A very promising idea can’t make up it’s mind whether it’s goofy or genuine, and that is negated anyway by a double blunder of an ending, the first shameless part in Yankee Stadium, the second part which reveals that not only did you waste your time in real life, so […]

Mr. Wrong

By Adam Lippe

Of course it’s awful and nothing that happens is funny, except for the fact that Bill Pullman has his housekeeper’s Mexican 8 year old children order Ellen DeGeneres at gunpoint to marry him. Though it’s actually the idea that was amusing, not the execution. Here’s a thought though; While a movie, especially a PG-13 one, […]

Willard

By Adam Lippe

The biggest mistake made in 2003’s Willard was not in remaking a mediocre movie that’s mostly remembered for the sequel’s use of a Michael Jackson love song for a rat, but because they went with a PG-13. The tone is R rated, the violence seems overly toned down (and indeed was), the language is awkwardly […]

The Tenant

By Adam Lippe

Here’s the idea behind “A Canadian, an American, a Lawyer, and an Elitist”: Rhett’s favorite movie is “Meatballs 4”, Shawn has an unhealthy fixation on Resident Evil, Richard scoffs at anything that isn’t pretentious and hoity toity, and Adam is a prick who hates everything. We all watch far too many movies, and spend our […]

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Roadracers

By Adam Lippe

Whenever there’s a genre parody or ode to a specific era of films, such as Black Dynamite’s mocking of Blaxploitation films or Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof, the second half of Grindhouse, the danger is that the film might fall into the trap of either being condescending without any particular insight, or so faithful that it becomes the very flawed thing it is emulating.

Black Dynamite has nothing new to say about Blaxploitation films, it just does a decent job of copying what an inept [...]


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Winner: BEST ONLINE FILM CRITIC, 2010 National Veegie Awards (Vegan Themed Entertainment)

Nominee: BEST NEW PRODUCT, 2011 National Veegie Awards: The Vegan Condom

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Featured Quote (written by me)

On Cold Fish:

Though the 16 year old me described the 1994 weepie Angie, starring Geena Davis as a Brooklyn mother raising her new baby alone, as “maudlin and melodramatic,” Roger Ebert, during his TV review, referring to the multitude of soap-operaish problems piling up on the titular character, suggested that it was only in Hollywood where Angie would get a happy ending. “If they made this movie in France, Angie would have shot herself.”

Well Cold Fish was made in Japan, where Angie would have shot herself and that would have been the happy ending.