Tag Archive
Paperhouse
Don’t try to recapture your childhood. You’ll just end up watching The Goonies, grumbling, and muttering to yourself that you can’t believe you were such an easily entertained idiot. You also weren’t precocious, just irritating. Precocious is how adults describe children who annoy them, when they’re too polite to say so. My fear of disillusioning […]
The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
Is there any inherent pressure for a director when following up a failure, especially when you’ve made a sequel distributed by a studio that’s known for constantly releasing such fare? In the past few years, Sony has been putting out belated DTV sequels to the most random, unsuccessful movies in their back catalog; such as […]
Whiteout
Do you ever wonder what goes on during meetings about theatrical release dates for movies? Well, I know you don’t, but just whose idea was it to open the violent 3 hour exploitation pastiche/parody Grindhouse on Easter weekend? “We have an opening in April; do we have anything to fill it?” “Which weekend?” “Easter.” “Hmmm. […]
Open House
There’s a famous poem by Robert Frost that says, and I paraphrase, “two roads diverged, both selling out in their own way, one to Hollywood, and one to direct-to-video erotic thrillers.” Frost wrote this poem after watching Open House, a low-budget slasher movie taking place amongst real estate agents, written by David Mickey Evans, who […]
Once Upon A Time in America vs. Phantasm IV: Oblivion
Those who haven’t seen either Phantasm IV: Oblivion or Once Upon a Time in America may be lost reading the content below. They also may be annoyed that the ending(s) and plot points are ruined for them. But I doubt it. There are many who believe that the ending of Once Upon a Time in […]
The Point Men
No matter how blind he gets and how hoarse his voice becomes, Christopher Lambert will always be worth watching. Whether it is because one of his eyes is placed significantly higher than the other (which certainly aids his crosseyedness) or the fact that he looks like a cyborg with a screwed on head, his charisma […]