Tag Archive
Paperhouse
Don’t try to recapture your childhood. You’ll just end up watching The Goonies, grumbling, and muttering to yourself that you can’t believe you were such an easily entertained idiot. You also weren’t precocious, just irritating. Precocious is how adults describe children who annoy them, when they’re too polite to say so. My fear of disillusioning […]
Clash of the Titans (2010)
It’s not a secret that the goal of reputable porn filmmakers has been to make a movie that is both erotic and dramatically riveting. Since the early 70s, the heyday of well made pornography (which includes such titles as The Opening of Misty Beethoven and The Devil in Miss Jones), there have been a few […]
The Men Who Stare At Goats
No matter what you think of Saw as a film, it’s hard to deny that the guys who made it, James Wan and Leigh Whannell, are geniuses. Not that they’re all that talented, as a feature film Saw is derivative, badly acted, and needlessly convoluted. What differentiates Wan and Whannell from standard exploitation filmmakers (torture […]
Somers Town
The ability of some films to knock you into a blissful trance despite the absence of anything substantial occurring on screen is not just a credit to the filmmakers but a nearly unexplainable phenomenon. Jim Jarmusch made Stranger Than Paradise, a movie about nothing people, doing nothing. The scenes are long blackout sketches where the camera rarely, if ever moves, and the dialogue is dull on the surface. And yet, the movie is hilarious. Jarmusch pulled off this same feat in Down By Law, but the droll tricks started to wear thin…
The Guitar
Completely shallow behavior expressed through endless materialism gets a bad rap. Ultimately, we’re all after stuff, better than what our neighbors have anyway. Life is just a series of shopping sprees at the mall, and if we can’t take it with us, we’ll be certain to max out our credit cards trying. Besides, personal relationships […]
The award movies you’ll miss and the lowbrow fun you should have instead
It appears that Vagina Dentata is all the rage. With 2007’s Teeth, and the recent Parasite Killer Pussy (not porn, but an incredible simulation!), as well as Penetration Angst, male paranoia mixed with misogyny is making a very welcome comeback. Tokyo Gore Police, from the same team that brought us last year’s whirlwind of wonderfully […]
Winner: BEST ONLINE FILM CRITIC, 2010 National Veegie Awards (Vegan Themed Entertainment)
Nominee: BEST NEW PRODUCT, 2011 National Veegie Awards: The Vegan Condom